i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
