im holly from the hills drunk
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize