well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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