By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Randomize
