Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I fill condoms, not promises.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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