spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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