Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
