Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Randomize
