You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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