um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
