I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
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