Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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