He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
