So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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