Don't you send me to vm
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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