so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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