You can't special order awesome
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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