You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
