so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Randomize
