man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
