OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Randomize
