JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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