cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
