when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
