I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
