Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
