Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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