remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
