If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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