Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
They took my balls.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
