um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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