I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
