Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
