I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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