no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Randomize
