I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
