It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
