she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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