It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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