it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
