The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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