Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
