he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
