quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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