I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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