the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
