i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
