Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
