Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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