Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Randomize
